One Man's Search for a Father
How many sons know their fathers and vice versa? Throughout history, fathers and sons have struggled with each other. Each has tried to be his own man based on his father and his father based on his father, etc. One would think that in all this time we’d have learned that how we raise our sons and the connection we create positively or negatively impacts everyone within our spheres of influence. But we haven’t.
It seems that so very few men have the loving, nurturing, and deeply caring relationship with their fathers that they stretch tiny fingers and hearts toward right from birth. The reasons for this are multiple. The outcome is disjointed, disconnected, distorted, and, sometimes, destroyed father/son relationships. The ramifications are far reaching in scope.
The hurt that men carry within them insinuates itself into every relationship and aspect of life — and very few men have a clue that their damaged father/son relationship is informing who they are and how they comport themselves in the world. It’s time to heal the gaping hole that so many of us carry around with us.
My story will, unfortunately, resonate with far too many men. I share it as a means of taking my personal restoration to a new level and to open a door for other men to explore their lives and begin their own process of healing. I’m not presenting a “how-to” book and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I can provide some insight and offer food for thought on how to heal our wounded hearts.
“I’d love to know how Dad saw me when I was 6.
I’d love to know a hundred things.
When a parent dies, a filing cabinet full of
all the fascinating stuff also ceases to exist.
I never imagined how hungry I’d be one day
to look inside it.”
~ David Mitchell
The Bone Clocks
“Those who have been wounded greatly,
are also those who are capable of loving greatly.”
~ Joyce Soriano